I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Randomize
