why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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