He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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