a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
