Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
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I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
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What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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