I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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