He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
