also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
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