Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
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Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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