I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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