He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
