...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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