i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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