It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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