Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
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