Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
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My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
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That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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