I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
