Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
