This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
