We're like a lot better than the average bears
I look better un-naked...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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