So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
