is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
