no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
