I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm always down for nudity.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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