if you like me you must not know who I am
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
