Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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