I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
