She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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