there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize