i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
