Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
