I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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