i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Boobs speak an international language.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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