Got a toothbrush?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize