i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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