I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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