You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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