she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
