I wish I could teleport
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
