A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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