Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
