I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
