Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
