playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
