At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm both gender and math confused
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
