let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize