Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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