you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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