I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
