How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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