I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize