this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
