Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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