Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
