Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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