I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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