Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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