I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
