New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize