belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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