Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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