Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
You made out with two different species that night
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
